1. 01 June 2010 · 04:51 PM ·

    Sunday

    My first church service at First Baptist Chattanooga was coming up and I was ask to do the opening prayer. Apparently the opening prayer is not that big of a deal, but I couldn’t let them get off that easy. I had the vision for this prayer in the middle of the week one night while doing some journaling before bed (no, it was not some awesome super natural vision, it was just a couple of phrases that came in to my creative brain and then I went from there). It just kind of came to me and I felt like I needed to share it.

     One of my favorite people to read about it in the church is John Wesley. Wesley once said that if they didn’t kick him out of town after he spoke, he wondered if he had really preached the gospel. So this presented an exciting challenge to live up to. Even though I was just doing a prayer, I figured it was still my job to raise some eyebrows and make people a little uncomfortable during Sunday morning. But it was my first Sunday so I had to throw a couple of laughs in there too. Also since I knew I might piss some people off I figured I would make a good first impression with the small town, conservative, southern congregation by wearing my best suit. HA! I’m not going to lie, I clean up pretty good, so even if I did make people mad their wives wouldn’t allow them to harm me. 

     As I sat in the front row with the other worship participates at the start of the service I was feeling pretty good. I was asking some questions about when I should walk up and the man beside me, Charlie, look over at me and said, “Don’t sweat too much about it man, nobody is going to remember it.” I looked at Charlie, winked and replied, “They’ll remember this one.” Then I proceeded up to the podium, pulled my sheet of paper out of my inside suit pocket and read aloud:

    Thank you for Your Forgiveness

    Lord Jesus, thank you for a beautiful day.

    Thank you for the sunshine

    Thank you for the rain.

    Thank you for laughter and joy.

    Thank you for smiles and cooking.

    Thank you for fried chicken.

    Thank you for family and friends, mischief and memories.

    Thank you for true love

    And for long walks on the beach with that special someone.

    Thank you for a first kiss

    And the rush that is gives.

    Thank you for popcorn at the movies

    Thank you for ice cream at the park.

    Thank you for socks fresh out the dryer

                And clean sheets right after a shower.

    Thank you for chicken noodle soup.

    Thank you for the grilled cheese sandwich

    Thank you Lord for allowing us to fail.

    Thank you Lord for our mothers that never let us forget anything.

    Thank you Lord for the ability to laugh during a prayer.

    We thank you most though for Your forgiveness.

    Forgive us Lord for living luke warm lives.

    Forgive us for our past and forgive us for our future.

    Forgive us Lord for walking by that piece of trash on the ground and not picking it up.

    Forgive us Lord for the food we throw away everyday.

    Forgive us Lord for our consumerist society and over indulgence.

    Forgive us Lord for racism, materialism and militarism.

    Forgive us Lord for the 1,000 children who will die today during our worship service due to extreme poverty.

    Forgive us Lord because less than one percent of what the world spends every year on weapons was needed to put every child around the world to school by the year 2000, and yet it never happened.

    Forgive us Lord for our clothes made in sweatshops.

    Forgive us Lord for not using our imagination and tapping into the beauty of your creativity.

    And Lord forgive us for watching too much T.V.

    We thank you Lord for your forgiveness.

    We thank you Lord for your forgiveness.

    ….can you say crickets. My footsteps off the stage were echoing in the choir loft, that’s how quiet it was. Charlie gave me the, “I didn’t think you had it in ya kid, but well done, hell ofa job.” look. I took it as a compliment. Charlie is a heck of a man, with a great sense of humor.

    I got a few weird looks after service. I also had around 10 people come up to me and thank me. I got a few notes this week wanting to have lunch and an email regarding thanks. I got a few laughs, and many hugs. But I didn’t get any mean remarks. I didn’t get any middle fingers, death threats and nobody has ask me for my resignation letter yet. So I’m wondering if I even preached the Gospel. I’m wondering if I even said anything right. If one of you could right me an angry note or something that would be great. That way i would know I said at least one thing right…even though it was just the opening prayer.

    Oh I did forget one thing. haha, i did get called a libreal after service. My facebook status posted this, Sunday when I got to my computer:

    A sweet old lady came up to me in church today after I got done speaking and said, “I agree with what you said about military spending and education. I just wanted you to know that I think the same thing. I’m glad to finally have another liberal in this church.” …..A liberal? I didn’t think you were allowed to say curse words in church!